In Reply to: left hand posted by petrov on Wednesday, 12. July 2006 at 10:35 Bali Time:
its actually the one they wipe their arses with... thats why its consider unclean...remember they only use water too :) its true
But if your in a supermarket or somewhere that u really need to use your left hand... you could say Maaf tangan kiri.. sorry my left hand.. they will probably ok and smile. done it thousands of times.. :)
About the feet, never cross your legs in front of an older person, especially say parents or older people in the family, this especially in Java is considered rude.
Passing people on the street, say you have to walk between two people talking..its always nice to say "permisi" excuse me, i do this all the time.. you might see some lowering themselves whilst walking by..this is a sign of respect..
If someone is standing in front of you, and you need to get passed (i really hate how people stop dead in their tracks in the middle of a walkway..especially shopping, here in indonesia or bloody aussie) say "permisi" as well, they will move for you..
Another thing, if you are lucky to have servants here, (i dont, but used to when i lived with my parents here) they are usually from the kampungs.. they have no idea how to do anything with the modern things we have, some are in the big smoke for the very first time in their lives.
Its hard to be patient with them, basically u need to train them about the household daily routines. Then they will learn. But some expats are down right disgusting and treat them like s**t.. make them do everything, even getting a glass of water for them... getting their shoes etc etc.. im so glad my family was never like this, we are capable people...go to the fridge and n get it yourself..or get your own shoes from outside the bloody door. Its just common respect.
(i'll tell another story about meeting someone from the kampung another time...ive had some great experiences.. and we are not talking bali kampungs where there is probably a chance of seeing a white person before.. .. the real java or ambon kampungs, where they dont even have electricity.. )
Anger, usually they dont express it directly to you, they'll give you the silent treatment (haha boyfriend done it to me many times)
They dont like expressing anger directly at people. I always cringe when i see the foreigners going off their nut at the indonesians, for some simple reason and the indonesians will just look down. They might tell you, they annoyed in an indirect way..i dont think i've mastered this one yet...so i cant tell you how to tell hahahaa.. :)
Touching heads, again in Java you really shouldnt touch a young boys head or mans for that matter, the head is very important to them and its considered impolite. My best friend here who just had a baby a year ago was complaining about her mother in law from Jogja, that when the baby is born, how the head is "still soft" that the tradational javanese women believe putting pepper on the forehead will harden the head...poor kid..
But a lot of things mentioned here such as pointing, etc etc..i have noticed are becoming ignored more and more each day.. especially with the younger generation of indonesians coming thru...
One thing i did discuss with my boyfriend (hes indonesian) in Bali (to really related to the points above), was while he was driving, he kept complaining about the motorbikes just coming out onto the road without even stopping or looking or cutting straight in front of you.
I always said, if they are coming from the right you have to give way. (hahah they dont have a give way in indonesia) he said... no no ..in Jakarta (he goes by motorbike everyday to and from work) the motorbikes lose to the cars...they are the ones who have to give way..... but everyone in Jakarta loses out to the buses... its do or die... i remember coming home from work and seeing a motorbike caught under a bus and couldnt be pulled out. lucky both motorbike driver and passenger survived... :)
ok ok...sorry enough rambling now... i gotta finish my breakfast...
christine