I would like to share our experiences during our recent Bali holiday. Myself- I am Kim- and a group of old military mates decided to meet up for a holiday in Bali. Please notice the emphasis on old.
Most of us were just lower ranks in the military however Lee Earl was actually an Officer and as such we gave him the respect of calling him Sir Lee Earl. Over the years this has now evolved into Surly Earl.
Our other team members were Edward Woodward, who has always been called by his full name. Rumours, who has always been called by his incorrect name, John Cox and Bob Vispas made up our group of 6.
Because we have all aged a bit we have various problems, for example Surly Earl can't hear too well and constantly gives us a laugh at the way he mishears things. Surly Earl can't forget that he was in the military and as such expects everything to run with clockwork precision. Whenever we go anywhere he is constantly looking at his watch and asking me
'How far Kim? How far Kim?'
This can get a little bit over the top when on holiday so I asked one of the other guys to take him out and get him drunk for the day. Edward Woodward said he would. Rumours got things wrong, as often happens, and thought that he was entrusted with the job. He said that Surly Earl can't really drink very much.
I explained that it was already okay because Edward Woodward would go with Surly Earl. I was glad that Edward Woodward would, because I already needed a break. Surly Earl can't be around all the time. We were staying in Sanur, so I sent them down to the Cat & Fiddle. Of course Surly Earl can't help himself and had to ask
'How far Kim? Far Kim?'
Now John Cox is a giant of a man and a man of few words. I think he is related to the guy who plays Australian Rules Football for the Wet Toast Eagles. He has always respected Surly Earl, so he said
'Those two can't go wandering around without Cox !!'
We agreed.
'Edward Woodward would probably appreciate you swinging in with them'.
So the three of them meandered off.
This just left me with Rumours and Vispas. I will tell you right now that Rumours and Vispas can be dangerous if not properly controlled. Now these two guys like a beer and a bit of gossip. So we decided that would be our aim. Rumours asked
'Is there a place near here that has real cold beer?'
Vispas has been to Bali many times, so this was his cue.
' I have been told of a lovely place named Mama Dewi's that has cold beer plus a supply of nice bar attendants. Right now I could do with that'
After a short stroll we were at the door of Mama Dewi's.
Now to those of you who are a bit sensitive please skip the next paragraph.
Mama Dewi's does have cold beer. However it is also a brothel with all the bar attendants mentioned by damn Bob Vispas being prostitutes who were well past their use by date. (I did not physically check anyone's date) but believe me a few of these maidens had seen their share of bed sheets being turned back.
However we were undaunted by the dates of these lasses and still managed to down a few palate cleansing ales. Because it was Saturday we had arranged to meet up at The Bali Senia Hotel to watch the football.
Next JBR, meeting the expat crew at the Bali Senia.