GLORY RESTAURANT
That night, we decided to take the free transport on offer to a Balinese Feast at Glory restaurant in Legian. We were greeted at the entrance by a guy who asked 'Oz?', we said ' yes' to which he replied 'suck more piss', charming indeed. The meat-based dishes were commemorated by tantalizing descriptions but had been gobbled up by the earlier, more experienced large tables of those who had won the Silver Medal in World War Two. We reminded ourselves to watch out for the pre-emptive activities of that particular crew, in future.
Surprise, surprise, the Free Transport had disappeared for the drive back to the hotel, the driver having gone to a Religious Ceremony, probably scheduled to appease the Local Gods for the greediness of the ‘Bule', Boo-Lay' literally ‘Albino' but applied to all people of white skin since albinos in Indonesia are born white. After an over-priced trip back to the hotel, we took to the pool and quaffed, in my case, too much San Mig to finish off a great, educational day in Paradise, land of glittering smiles and beauty on display. We were left wondering if the extreme beauty of the people dazzled the Mathematics Teachers to the extent that grading in this essential education was neglected.
ORIGIN OF THE BALINESE; LEGEND
According to local belief the beauty and self-belief in their superiority to other races occurred as follows. The Gods looked down, as was their wont, on an empty world one day and picked Bali as the most beautiful spot upon which to start populating the world., they missed Ireland! They made clay effigies of humans and roasted them in the Heavenly oven and the first batch came out under-done, white and disgusting, which they sent to the Northern latitudes. The second batch must have been far too hot and they turned out black and were duly sent to Africa. Third time lucky, even for Gods, who got it perfectly right on that effort, the resultant people being perfectly formed, beautiful people of golden complexion: you guessed it !, the Balinese came into being, perfect in every way except for the ability to learn Mental or Machine-assisted Mathematics. Well, total perfection might offend the local Gods as evidenced also by the custom of mangling the tails of cats lest those animals might offend by their perfection. If you have a discussion with a Balinese and your logic prevails, you still lose because 'you are not even Balinese'; suck that!
BLUE OCEAN AGAIN
Next morning, Cockadoodled at an early hour, in case we wanted to lay eggs, we went for a nice walk on the beach before joining the Galloping Grannies for an unbelievably cheap breakfast at Blue Ocean, where we fell in love with a dish that we cook to this present day. Two pieces of toast smeared with chilli paste, topped by avocado, bacon and a layer of cheese, all lightly toasted; a feast fit for a king and we never said no to a second helping at RP.750; Marie sometimes needed help, which was usually available from ever-helpful Monsieur Le Garbagiste.
One evening, the Restaurant half full until then, suddenly was chockers as buses arrived on a tour of happy spots. With music at full blare, the place turned into party mode as all took to the floor; Marie, who loves to dance, was never short of a partner or two while Moi succumbed to the usual sore knee to sit with a Large beer watching the antics of the happy crowd; Marie, occasionally swung by to smack me back from my perving entrancement at the get-up and antics of the Euro-half-nudies, who left nothing to the imagination dress-wise or should I say undress-wise. A good time was had by all, for one reason or another.
BUYING LARGER SIZES
After the first week, shopping became more intense. It was hard to find an outfit for Marie, at that time a size 14. Occasionally a size 14 was available, at a good price after some discussion and try-on. The outfit was then taken out the back for wrapping (!) which we wondered about until we got back to the hotel and found they had packed a size 10 or 12; the size 14 was used as bait for many sales and when we went back to point out their error (!) we were told 'sorry, that one now sold'; we sent a friend in to try for a 14 and the same baited hook trick was tried by showing the one 14 in captivity.
The same trick is occasionally tried to this day. The advice is to not lose sight of the actual item and watch the correct one being packed. Especially beware of places that advertise ‘large sizes'.
DO DROP INN
We fell in love with a pub-restaurant called ‘Do Drop Inn' who always had cold beer and any cocktail you could imagine plus a few you'd never heard of. The main lady was ‘Suzie' whose real name was Mevasita, still going as ‘Sita fashions' on that spot as the restaurant has closed. She practiced believable magic and was very popular amongst the Japanese clientele who were very sporting upon finding that they had unwittingly painted their own faces black.
The shop sells bricabrack but the bigger business is at the back, where Suzi's husband Billy the Greek runs a Pottery business supplied by truck loads from Lombok, where two villages work pretty exclusively for them, making designs from all parts of the world. It is one place where you are sure of getting your purchases properly packed and/or dispatched with precision as Billy was Parcels Manager for Qantas until he retired. He sells up to Container loads from an extended warehouse up beside Hotel Corby in Kerobokan.
SRI RATU HOTEL
Also working there was 'Masadi', Mevasita's youngest brother in a family of 9 who teamed up with her to build the Sri Ratu Hotel & Villas. The Hotel, 20 rooms L-shaped with a plunge pool, is still going strong after 3 re-designings and face-lifts but the Villas (7) have been sold off; in fact we will be there in two days' time in November 2011, as we seldom go to Bali without spending at least some of our time with them. Of the original Staff, just a few are left still there but we are in contact with them all as if with our Bali family. Some have gone on to better jobs and the rest relaxed into family life, pushing out a few kids who are proudly brought to visit and duly pee and spew all over their Bule rellies! This just proves that Bali babies are normal in almost every way; I usually have that effect, wherever I go!
BALI SPARROWS
A welcome and popular part of the Sri Ratu scene are our sparrows, flittering, bustling, feeding, nesting and attending to avian business like sparrows do in most of the world.
As previously mentioned, Bonkin' Brian (chief stud sparrow) is still attending to his matutinal stud duties although from recent on-forum reports, this lucky lad should, if judged on results, be renamed Cracker-Sparrow. Whatever his name, his nature remains unchanged ; he can be relied upon to attend to his harem between 0700 and 0930, sparrow-time. Maybe this lad is beginning to become bored with his duties because, recently, he has been seen to reject females lining up for seconds. Is there a Sparrow Viagra about the place?
It seems that on cloudy or rainy days, the full harem will not appear until 0800 : on fine days, however, they are in full twitter by 0700. They really appreciate toast of a morning, preferring it semi-done, not too brown and not buttered if you please. They are a bit shy if that Bloody old Ginger Tom is around, though.
Mr. Masadi the owner of Sri Ratu is a sparrow fancier of a different type, albeit a lover of birds of all kinds. From the cliffs of Java, he has imported that special breed from whose nests, birds' nest soup, that highly desirable Chinese delicacy is concocted. In case you would like to know about this delicacy, it is the spit with which their nests are bound together that is the prime ingredient, decocted by boiling the complete nest, I believe.
No more need Mr. Masadi rely upon Javanese dare-devils climbing up or down over-hanging cliffs, hanging hundreds of metres above the coast of Java to obtain 'walet', the local name for this delicacy. In nearby Tabanan, he has built an extensive hatchery, in the form of walls with holes in which his little friends may nest whilst they are cherished with the best of what they need to carry out their sparrowly duties, making their benefactor happy at the same time.
It seems not a bad life for a bird. A spot of inter-island travel, food and lodging provided and a job guaranteed upon arrival. No luggage, no Immigrasi problems, no Customs rubbing thumb and fore-finger together, no transport problems and above all, no taxes to pay. Although we humans would like to be able to fly, I'm sure that these Bali sparrows, of either type, wouldn't change their lot for ours.
BALI BABIES
When the dead are cremated, according to Balinese belief, their souls go to a Heaven which resembles Bali, for a period until their souls return re-incarnated into the bodies of their great-grand-children or grand-children; for a Balinese year at least, (210 days) they are venerated as junior Gods and not allowed to touch the ground until a Ceremony of Turun Tanah, (descend to ground) is arranged on an auspicious day. For the Ceremony, a large donation to the Priest concerned is required; in fact it is worth mentioning that 17% of all Balinese earnings are given for Religious purposes (apart from specific ceremonies such as these, which attract extra fees)
Everyone in the family or Kampung are allowed to hold the little ones and passed around all day. Thus, we explain the panic of guests whose children ‘disappear' whilst being handed around from Gardener to Cook to Security Guard to Room Staff to Reception Staff, all of whom have an adoring cuddle as a blessing from the newly-returned God or Goddess, until the panicking parents arrive to re-claim their ‘precious' without knowing what was going on.
SO MUCH TO LEARN
As the years wandered by so quickly, without letting us know, we came to realize that there is a myriad of knowledge to be learned about Balinese Society and Religion, which inter-mingle continuously. To those who are more deeply interested, we recommend the two books written by an American, who spends most of his time in Bali, named Fred Eisenman Jr. and the books are named ‘Sekala Niskala' the good and the bad, the seen and unseen, it's all about balance. These are not the only books written on this subject by scholarly men but form as good a starting place as the average student might require.
THE BALI BUG
If bitten by the Balinese Bug, like I was very early on, take my best wishes with you as you delve into this endlessly fascinating subject. For those as bongkers as me, I would offer advice regarding the study of the Balinese language, Basa Bali. It is mostly separate from the Indonesian Language, Bahasa Indonesia and has, as well as some differences in pronunciation, a caste system, carried over from Religion, which is mostly adhered to. This is all quite puzzling to the Western mind but not insurmountable, by using a mixture of straight rote-type memory work and chats with locals. In my opinion, it is best to aim for the Middle Language, Basa Mider, as this, in most cases is understood by the lower as well as the higher castes. Spare a thought for the young Priestly applicant who has to learn the 8, yes 8, sub-dialects of the Brahmanic language, as he progresses towards full Priesthood. Added to this is the fact that some prayers are still chanted in the ancient Sanskrit, said to be the mother of many modern languages. A raggedly dressed labourer may be a member of the Brahmana caste and you will only work it out by others in the crew keeping their heads at a lower level than his, even the Boss, when addressing him, while they speak the upper language and he speaks to them in the lower language.