Poor old Farmboy....His head was swimming with awe and wonder at the magical handiwork of the 'Money Changer.' All he knew was that we'd seen something 'remarkable' and his wallet was thickly laden with 10 000 Rupiah notes....{ Lesson of the day: Tourist in Bali with thick wallet may not necessarily be well off !!!}
We felt the need for some Traditional Balinese cuisine so we Jalan Jalaned down the road to the Temple of Pastry and Gluttony, "BREADTALK!" However, we first had to run the gauntlet of all the 'temptations of the flesh stalls.' You know--- Body Shop, Massage parlours, and shops with big whopping carved wooden willies.
Farm Boy's gob was agape....."Don't see too many of them at the Co-Op store," says he.
Knowing that the lad had a wallet stuffed with cash and he was keen to part with it, I asked the lad aloud,"what time is it sonny?"
"Darb's I haven't got a watch." Well..................... You should have seen the stampede of shopkeepers tripping over themselves to thrust a shonky Rolex onto his wrist. 'You buy this one ,Boss, good cheeeeap prrrrice!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last view I had of the dear boy was him surrounded by 15 shopkeepers all vitriolically thrusting their wares upon him.
Leaving the lad to negotiate a good morning price for 22 assorted time-pieces we pressed on to the great temple steps at Discovery Plaza. Before we could ascend to the top we first had to receive a pamphlet from one of the many 'Holiday Priests' that greeted each visitor. The priests instructed us to open the colourfully adorned card and scratch-off three panels that would reveal a lucky blessing to us. Strike me pink!!! We won a Free 7 Day Holiday blessing!!! Unreal. In fact, every one of us scratched a Free 7 Day Holiday blessing How lucky were we!!!! Boy or boy were the Holiday priests excited. Anyway, we said to these lucky,lucky priests.."just hang-on a moment"...all this excitement had affected our bladders and quite frankly ,we had do go....quick.
Promising the deleriously happy priests that we would be back we bolted up the steep stairs and entered the Great Temple of Discovery frantically searching for a powder room. We were eventually directed to the public conveniences. Blimey! Some rotten vandal had unbolted the dunny bowl and scarperred with it. Just a solitary hole in the tile floor was left... the rotten beggars. We needed to go so badly that we just stood there and took aim. Mission accomplished we rendezvoused back out in the corridor with the ladies.
The girls had had the same thing happen to them. What sort of pervert swipes a dunny pedestal? A rather interesting condition had been discovered by the ladies in their pursuit of feminine bladder relief. The physical condition known as ,"Thighs of Steel," is acquired by the girls having to 'perch' themselves strategically over a porcelain hole in the ground. The knowledge that if they over-balance and sit down , however ungracefully, onto the receiving portal empowers their thigh muscles to clench to unheard of tension.
Refreshed and curious we ventured up the steep stairways to the growing hubbub that was coming from the floor above. As we staggered to the top of the staircase we were greeted with crowds of brightly dressed Temple handmaids & younger priests dancing in co-ordinated unison. Happy little beggars they were. Bit like the 'Hokey Pokey' dance we did as little tackers. Not to be outdone we all started our own indigenous dance, the macarena. Which, combined with the effects of the Thighs of Steel, Buttock paddling, and rice padi snorkelling, wasn't a pretty sight.
The Temple security guards seemed somewhat intimidated by our writhing dancing bodies shooed us back down to the next floor. Here we found the legendary 'BreadTalk.' Gooey, creamy, chocolatie, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....If you insert two cream cakes into your mouth at once and then try to communicate to people it can be very interesting. Note to reader: do not fill your mouth with several pastries and then attempt to smile at the Pastry Chefs...they become so easily upset. At that moment, Farm Boy reappeared with his arms completely 'sleaved' in assorted watches. Imagine , if you would, 10 people with their cheeks stuffed like squirrels with cream pastry all laughing their heads off at the the Rolex Kid.
NEXT; Waterbom!