There are somethings in the world males are not supposed to understand. Why, for example, females will walk through department stores touching the fabric of a blouse that they have absolutely no intention of buying but insist when questioned that they needed to test the texture of the material. Or why there are cupboards bulging with never used bargains that were too good not to buy at the time.
Bali shopping expeditions remind me of old midday matinee movies on African safaris. A convoy of three taksis roars up to Matahari Kuta Square. Eleven very tender souls exit the cars looking more like a dementia centre field trip than virile seasoned adventurers. Aching legs, red raw buttocks and bruises, from being tossed down a river the previous day, were taking a toll on us.
As we pressed through the maddening crowd into the foyer I thrust my manly hands upon my manly hips and said," OOOO look! Little fishies..." What fun. For just a few Rupiah you could go fishing in a large tank. To keep it fair you apparently couldn't use your hands, just your bare feet. In we piled, our buttocks gingerly perched upon parallel benches. Like shooting fish in a barrel !!! No sooner did I lift my foot out of the water than I had a dozen of the little beggars out of the water. There was no catch bags provided so we just scooped them up into a disused plastic shopping bag.
Jeez we were good at it. Before long we had a bagful of devils and we could tell that we were the envy of the other 'fisher-persons' as they were pointing and gestulating wildly at us. The tank attendant obviously thought that we had caught our fair-share as he became quite annoyed at us. He tried to take some of the fish back. "NO matey", I said,"we caught them fair and square!" And we all left at once. The nerve of some people...
We sloshed our way back out the front of the foyer holding our booty tightly. Farmboy taps me on the shoulder and says,"what's a Money Changer,Darbs?" I tell the naive kid that it's a bit like a magic show. "Bonza!!," says the lad, and we step into the dingy little theatre. The magician steps out to the alter and I prod the boy to place a $50 note on it. The magician whips it away in a flash and counts out 250 000 rupiah. Amazing!! I tell him to do it again to see how it's done. Out comes another $50 from Farmboy's Sponge-Bob Squarepants wallet. Woosh!! In a flury of hands another note disappears and the boy mutters, " ooo , ahhhh, that's awesome."
Not the sharpest pencil in the packet is Farmboy.......END OF PART 1