In Reply to: Thanks guys but. ..... posted by mailei on Saturday, 8. May 2010 at 17:00 Bali Time:
You are not the first to have been through this. There used to be a forum just for girls like you, but it was on msn so defunct along with msn. There are some facebook groups - have a look there. Networking with other women in relationships with Indonesian men is a good place to start because many have been exactly in the place you are now.
Nothing is going to happen overnight. Money is going to get in the way, and the visa process is painful - on both sides. Also, you mentioned wanting to live in Australia for 2 years to save money and have kids and then move back to Bali permanently. Have you any clue how expensive it is to raise and educate children in Bali, to give them the same opportunities they would have at home? I have to tell you that there are many, many couples who can't live in Bali for just that reason. So if you are planning kids, it could be a problem for your plans.
Also, and don't take this the wrong way, but many Indonesian guys find the life here in Australia really hard and can't cope. Be really careful about getting pregnant until you are really sure that this guy is going to be able to support you and your children. You love him, but is he husband material? How will he support you?
Being in a marriage across cultures is not an easy road. Marriage is hard enough without the cutural differences and the fact that one of you will for ever be living half in one world and half in another - be it Bali or Australia. Not saying don't do it - I've been happily married to my Indonesian man for going on 7 years, but I also know it is hard to think clearly when you are so in love and just want to be with him.
So, all you are planning are really big things. Especially kids. Slow down, take a breath. If it is meant to happen it will. You could be together the rest of your life, a few months now is agony but nothing in the larger scheme of things.
Good luck