Tuesday
Firstly, apologies for lateness of this JHR. I did upload a version yesterday, which has disappeared from the forum, and, when I came to re submit later that day, our wi-fi had become unavailable for 36 hours.What's the betting it was the Germans at play?
Well, it did start off as the lazy day I expected.However , that was soon shattered by Mrs Wharfie suggesting that I drive to Bintang supermarket to get some provisions. She has already noticed my utter competence on the roads , and how I am coping with very stressful conditions. I would like to take credit, but I think the Balinese are showing their astuteability (word for the day) by signalling each other to keep off the roads as soon as I turn the ignition key. Look out Wayan Wharfie is on the road, let's all disappear quick !!
So, two nervous breakdowns, a coronary, and three panic attacks later, I skilfully glide into one of the car parks adjacent to the Gelato bar and coffee shop, that are facing the rear exit door of Bintang. The driver of a private car says I am a Bagus Driver, and did well not to hit some plant pots that i hadn't even seen. Anyway, we stock up on aqua, I buy more electric adaptors, some cordial, aqua, bread, eggs, fruit and margarine, and , still shaking from my original trip, I expertly jump into the drivers' seat of the Avanza. As I did this , I smack my left ear on the frame of the door, and , not wanting to show anyone I'm injured, I refuse to rub it, and simply smile , in agony, and move back into Jl Raya Seminyak. They build them tough in England... (me , that is, not the cars)
Negotiating the traffic, that once again was disappearing rapidly by the second, I turn into Jl Kerobaokan and head back to Umalas. There is a crazy turn just after you go past Geneva Hardware, where , it seems, everyone is fair game. However I have soon worked out, if you bang the horn loud enough, stare blankly, and appear to be dead, you get away with murder. Back to the Villa, we unload our bounty, stock up the quickly fading fridge and freezer and we all sit around deciding what to do. The freezer is on maximum, and bags of ice are melting in there, what's that all about?
Now, here's a hot tip, when 11 of you are holidaying at the same time, it becomes quite painful agreeing to do the simplest of things, you need aleader, and someone who can make snap decisions, so, please step forward Herr Diktator...Mrs Wharfie. Quickly, she assembles the troops and without more to do, we have all agreed ( whether you like it or not), that we are going to Tekor Bali for a sunset dinner, and, once again Jenson ‘Wharfie' Button was to be pilot. Immediately, my legs turn to jelly, and I want to feign some sort of injury so I do not have go through the hellish driving malarkey. I'm on holiday, all I want to do is call Mr Bluebird and take me there.Perhas I was a Gestapo Oberrfuhrer in a previous life, and I have to do my pennance.
By now, my step son has hired a scooter, so he and his girlfriend can get around without us. Obviously he values his life, and feels safer on two wheels than sitting in a car with me at the wheel. Fair enough, and this frees up 2 seats in the car, this allows my sister-in-law's Nanny to accompany us to Tekor Bali so she can watch the children whilst we have dinner. Wayan senses that I am uncomfortable at risking death twice in one day, so he suggests that he takes his scooter, and I follow him to Tekor, and allow him to find me a parking spot by the beach . Wayan is being so good to us, I so wish I could wrap him up and take him back home with us
We enjoy a beautiful dinner, and my Ayam Betutu certainly hits the spot. My brother in law tries to settle my nerves for the drive home by making me sink a Quantro, a Tequila and two Bintangs before we head off.The Nanny has done a remarkable job of keeping the children quiet. Amazing what 5 metres of gaffa tape, elastoplast and a few six inch nails can do. We certainly went over budget tonight, and the bill for all of us was 1.3mill+ rp , and I noticed the Indonesian Stock market gained 20 points that evening
Sadly, the cloud cover had camouflaged sunset, so we all suggest that we have to do this again. Oh no, that means I have to do this drive again, and I'm off to the Apotek for some Valium. However, and quite confidently, I follow Wayan through the back street of Jl 66 and pass Kumala Pantai on the way. Rejoining Jl Raya Seminyak was like meeting an old friend, and I was soon back home enjoying a nightcap.
Bad news of the day was that the aircon still hadn't been fixed in room number 5, and, being ever the chivalrous type, I allow my step daughter to sleep in our bed with my wife, whilst I take my familar position on the floor on a mattres with one pillow and a sheet. I understand how difficult it is to sleep wihout aircon, because living in the paradise that is Queensland, it simply is nigh on impossible to sleep without it.
I had a shocking night's sleep, and, around 3 am , I woke up really stiff, (calm down ladies), and tried out numerous positions in the attempt to resolve it. Being a master of the double entendre still doesn't equal a good sleep, and I was up at 7 am ready for my day at New Kuta Golf course with Raffles club
At least I don't have to drive !!
More tomorrow, wi-fi permitting..thanks for reading..Wharfie xxx