I went on a pilgrimage to Sanur so that I could sit once again at the feet of the great wise Guru, the Dalai Laron. The first morning when I stepped on to his veranda I felt he was a little grumpy for a highly evolved and enlightened being so I backed politely away being careful to stoop low enough to be below him and never, never, turning my back.
Needing a new plan to find the wisdom for which I yearned required a new plan so I took to hiding in the tropical foliage beneath his humble house and listening. I took plenty of water and some home made meat pies to tide me over but found I just could not understand a thing that dropped from his lips, even when he was speaking English. Some ancient language I suspect.
This continued until the space person landed from outer space and sprayed me. This was definitely an alien encounter as I could tell from the tank on her back that she was from a galaxy far far away. Who knew that aliens would be so beautiful? Skeptics,less enlightened that I tried to tell me it was the lady boss spraying for aphids but I know what I saw.
There was a blinding flash of orange and I went into trance waking up with all my wounds healed and able, at last, to understand the words of the great one.
After the trance incident the Dalai Laron repented and let me on his veranda to sit at his feet and said I could collate all his notes into a text for the unenlightened to reach Nirvana.
His notes were all carefully written on the oval labels off the front of Bintang bottles. You know how they slide off once wet? He painstakingly dries them and writes his gospel day by day one label at a time. Since I understand he has been doing this for some years you can imagine the size of the task.
This is a great honour for me but I must admit it will certainly be a bigger job and take longer than I expected so I must keep returning until my work there is done. Of course I am transferring them all to traditional lontars.
So those of you who want a mystical experience far removed from the usual tourist thing I would recommend SBVs but just keep your hands off my lontars.