Wife says I'm taking you out for dinner tonight. Je-Jes. It's next door to our hotel.We're sitting at the table ,having our bintang."what are you going to have " she asks. Not a lot on the menu interested me.Wife said she'd heard the pies were really good,so Pies it is. The waiter came out with 2 soup bowls.the weirdest pie I've ever seen.Basically a huge pie in soup bowl .The pastry was like rubber but the meant in the pie was delicious.Left the pastry.
Waiter brings the bill.Wife is paying.Husband smiles. She digs through her bag, out comes her hairbrush, lipstick,umpteen massage pamphlets but no purse.She tips the lot on the table.Still not purse.Husband pays.
woke up to beautiful brekky at the hotel.wife says I've got a favour for you. Again, thinking it must be my lucky day today,I smile."Laundry " she says.OH. "where is it?" "around the corner"
Around the corner is all the way down the lane where I see a sign.it says turn right,I follow that,another sign says turn L,walking walking,another sign,turn right.Get there.Sign says open 11am.It's 9am. So I walk all the way back.Decide to lay near pool, have a bintang. I hear a screech from out of nowhere.50 people turn their heads.
The wife says "husband it's 11oclock...laundry"
Husband is reminded it's Anika cooking school tonight. "don't forget and don't get lost"
Car arrives to pick us up half an hour late.There's another couple from England joining us.Wife starts to chat.Hubby thinks English people are in for it. Husband tries to talk,wife yabbering.Husband hears break in conversation and tries to talk.Wife starts to talk.Husband thinks she must get tired soon.Break in conversation again,husband starts talking,wife talks over the top.
Pommy guy says"husband you're a quiet bloke"
Sitting at table wife still talking.Husband thinks a bintang might slow her down. NO it makes her talk FASTER.
Pommy couple introduce themselves to the teacher.Before husband can say his name ,wife says it for him.Husband thinks he must have Alzheimers.Start learning about the spices.Everything passes the wife first.wife tells him what it smells like.Husband thinks his sense of smell must be gone too.
now we must grind the spices.We each have a grinding stone.Husband is next to wife.Bad mistake. we are busy grinding spices, Husband thinks he's doing well but can't think why he is crying,there is no chili or onion in his bowl. Looks at wife.Chili flying everywhere.Husbands face is splattered.OH IT BURNS>
Having learned enough about spices wife takes over cooking while still talking. Husbands stands beside wife. Big mistake. Husband gets burnt. husband thinks is 3rd degree bad?
Finished cooking.we must eat our food. wife still talking.Meal is served with rice wine. must be nice as wife drinks mine too.husband finally gets word in edgewise while wife eating. husband thinks chilli meal not too hot. oh ..husband wore half the chilli.
paying the bill. wife did not tell husband she had not prepaid.husband has to scrape the barrel of his wallet. wife turns to cook.husband can wash up dishes to pay for the bill.husband gets a word in..."thanks wife"
cooks says, come to collect your certificates.husband smiles.printer has broken down. wife wacks husband upside head.she must get hers tomorrow. husband stirs wife all the way home."you failed cooking school" would you like to see my certificate?" pommy couple joined in as well.Back at hotel we are almost up the stairs when pommy fella jumps out of car shouting "Mrs bee-may,you forgot your certificate..............oh thats right you didn't get one"...he he he
I couldn't have done it better my self.
seriously though, the the night was great fun,learnt a lot,it was well worth the money.