ME AND MY BIG MOUTH.
There were two occasions during the last fortnight when I should have kept my lips buttoned, but I didn't. One quite upset me and the wife, the other one, well with this sense of humour we were close to wetting ourselves.
There is the cutest, sweetest little Balinese girl in Kuta who gives massages to die for. Being down in Tanjung Benoa we don't get into Kuta too often but we both make a point of seeking this delightful young lady out. The parlour she works for is just around the corner from Mata Hari's and she looks for her business around the ice cream parlour. On two occasions we went into Kuta we failed to find her, per chance on the last evening we met her right outside the coffee shop in Kuta square.After my missus and her had stopped crying and laughing we passed the time with a chat as to how things were, she was quite excited as she had met a Dutchman who was arranging a ticket and passport to give her the opportunity to do massage work in Amsterdam. What do you do, what do you say to such an innocent who is so excited with the prospects of breaking the poverty cycle and returning with heaps of money. So I said it. " You can't do it, you can't go. This man will probably take your passport and you will be paying it back by daily jogged bum bum's." Came as a shock to her and I am sure that we have lost a friend.
Up in Amlapura we met a guy from Tanjung Benoa who had run a couple of first time visitors to the orphanange with their donations. It came out in the conversation that we were staying in Tanjung and he suggested that we have a look at the Peninsular. I jumped in real quick, " We used to eat at the Peninsular every Thursday when Jodie was doing the cooking as her roasts were to die for." They were too, it was a bloody great Aussie roast, just like a home cooked meal. "We don't go any more, the price for the roasts have tripled and the quality has dropped badly so much so that the gravy has been substituted by watered down HP sauce and the rest of the meal is unedible, the beef would be better off on the bottom of my boots."
He sulked off and the couple that he took up there said that he was quite upset, so I asked what the problem was. " He's the cook at the Peninsular that replaced Jodie."
Ah well.