Downloaded from the "Cyber Rag" this morning to share with you.
This is your on the spot reporter Ivor Skoop from Legian Beach with the great news that Martha Tilaar was not, as feared drowned while surfing the Legian Break.
Just as the sea reached the high tide point last night what was at first thought to be a large buch of seaweed washed up a little north of Legian Beach Hotel. As two of the beach dogs began to drag it up the beach a small French tourist child was heard to exclaim.
"It ees not a eap of seaweed. Sacre Bleu. It ees a dead lady."
Fernando the unlicensed beachseller from Flores ran to the collapsed form and began to administer CPR ably assisted by Bazza the board rider from Brunswick. They tried, my God how they tried, to no avail. Neither breath nor heartbeat was discernable.
Bazza fell to the ground and begun pounding his fists into the sand whilst Fernando, poor heartbroken Fernando, sat cradling his beloved's body in his arms.
Just then from the beach esky two up from S&S a shrill cry rang out.
"Wait, wait" as Mary from Moonee Ponds and Madge from Margaret River broke away from the crows of observers and ran to the group on the high tide line.
They had to drag Fernano away then as Mary gently held Martha's head on her lap Madge pulled, from her green eco bag, a small green jar and whilst holding her stubby of Bintang between her knees she began lovingly rubbing the botulike day cream with 15+ sun protection into Martha's white lifeless cheeks.
Silence fell on the scene, except for the sound of the waves crashing and Fernando's sobbing. Then with an ever ladylike grace she twitched a couple of times, her eyes opened and she coughed showering Bazza the board rider brom Brunswick with regurgitated sea water and a little sate and rice.
They wrapped her lovingly in sarongs (Rp.20.000 from Samantha the sarong seller) propped her between Fernando and his brother Cornelius on their motorbike and took off along the darkening beach towards her hotel.
Madge and Mary ordered two more Bintangs and relaxed, modest heroines of the hour. When asked by yours truly for a quote all they would say was.
"Hasn't she got the most beautiful skin you ever saw?" and this humble scribe had to agree that it was really all there was to say.
This is Ivor Skoop saying "goodnight" from Legian beach.