G'day, how are you all. For those of you who don't know me I'm Joe or seph for short, my wife's name is Flo, or as H affectionately calls her 'Flosome'. You may have heard of our parents Coco, or as we know her Colleen, and H, he's really Howard, she just calls him 'H' don't know why but she always has. They're not our real parents, you can tell that just by looking at them, he's tall and skinny and I'm, well I'm short and muscley. Flo's small & cute and Coco, well she used to be taller & skinnier, don't think I'd better say anymore in case she reads this.
We were adopted from a department store in Portland, Oregan. I came first, Coco bought me to be a bodyguard for H because he drove around a lot for work and she'd heard a lot about car jackings and muggings etc in the Sates. After a while Coco decided I needed a wife to keep me happy and along came Flo, the luv of me life.
Well, we've done a lot of travelling together the four of us, had a lot of adventures, and met a lot of good people all over the world. Whenever our overseas friends call to talk to Coco & H they always ask, 'how's Joe and Flo' yep we've made a lot of good friends over the years. We migrated to Australia a few years back when they wanted to return home. Coco's a true blue Aussie with an Irish convict or two in the closet. H is a Canadian, who after working in Alaska decided to look for warmer shores, he's called Australia home for over 25 years now. They met in Australia and later set off to Canada & the USA together. When we lived in Canada & America they always carried on about Bali and how much they missed it. We went to live in Hawaii for a few years, me and Flo thought it was paradise but they still whinged about missing Bali.
Well a few years back we finally got to see what all fuss was about when we flew to Bali for the first time. Now I've got to admit that just like them, we're hooked. Of course we miss the kids when we're away, we've got too many to take with us now. The kids are all adopted to, just like us and they've also come from all over the world. H says he wishes that their well-meaning friends & family would stop adding to our family as it costs him a small fortune in honey these days. Well, back to Bali, we've just come back from our 6th or is it our 7th trip and I must admit it was a bit different this time, me and Flo are a bit worried about the parents, we'll try to explain why.....
We left Melbourne on a cold wintry day, I wore me bintang singlet and me bathers, Flo had on her bikini and a sarong, we don't pack a case, we realised on our first visit that we lived in these clothes so why take more. We went business class to Perth courtesy of Qantas who had downsized our direct flight, not that it did us much good, we heard the clanking of the real cutlery and we heard H asking for red wine. We heard Coco saying what comfortable seats they had. Yeah well do you realise that you stuck the hand luggage in the overhead locker upside down. Do either of you even care that we are not bl**dy comfortable at all. Have a look in here, we're hanging by our toes from these so-called seat belts you stuck around us.
I start yelling to be let out but H just says 'stop that racket Joe'. Flo suddenly remembers other trips, like the one to Las Vegas from Hawaii when they let us have the seat between them and the stewardess took our photo to take home to her kids. Yeah I say, what about the trip across the Grand Canyon in the small plane when they let us out to see the awesome sights. Yeah says Flo and the helicopter trip over the active volcano on the Big Island, we had our own seat then to and the other passengers laughed like crazy at us, remember.
We both start yelling again, all of a sudden there's movement at the station, great Flo, we're getting out, no! false alarm, he was just getting his book out, at least he turned us right side up. Before putting us back up H tells us to settle down, he explains that it's a full flight and that all the other passengers are business men in suits who look like they have no sense of humor. He goes on to say that they don't look like the types who would enjoy sharing their breakfast with a couple of bears dressed like us. I sadly turn to Flo and say, 'I think our parents are getting old Flo, once upon a time they wouldn't have cared who saw us or how we were dressed'.
Finally we get to Perth, and they open up the hand luggage, I see a sign that says welcome to Perth and warm air comes floating in all around us. Flo and me had just been freezing our b*ms off all the way from Melbourne. Next thing you know, they cover us up with two big woolly jumpers and zip the lid up again. For the next few hours it's as hot as hell in here and we go bumpity bump, bumpity bump up and down footpaths. We hear comments of, isn't that beautiful and how nice is that, we squeal to be let out to have a look, damn it guys we've never been to Perth before, give us a break.
Finally the lid opens again and I say to Flo this is our chance love, quick jump, but the seatbelt holds us tightly in place. They drop in a badge for me, and a fridge magnet for Flo. I said to Flo, I give up love, feast your eyes on that fridge magnet and me badge girl because that's about all we're gonna see of Perth. Sure enough it was. Thanks to some guy at the Burswood Casino we got a break when they stopped there to have lunch, we heard him say , "you can't take that case in you have to check it at the desk". So they handed us over to some total stranger and left us there, at least the person who picked us up didn't hang us upside down.
Finally we board our flight to Bali. It quickly becomes obvious that we aren't going to be let out this time either. I can hear them complaining that it's a full flight and this time they are stuck in economy, I hear H say he has his knees up around his neck. Flo and I decide that this time we are in the best place. Well guys I hope you have a comfortable flight, nighty, night, Flo and I curl up in each others arms and go to sleep.
The next thing we know the smells hit us, Flo shakes me awake saying Joe, we are here, smell that Bali air. Bumpety bump, bumpety bump through the airport, stopping to buy visas and to collect luggage. Bumpety bump, bumpety bump through the carport and into the car, Bumpety bump into the hotel room, okay let us out guys, let's see the room and our bed. Hey, what's going on here, I just heard them shut the door and go out, hey what about us. I can't believe it, usually they let us out immediately and find us a comfortable place to sit or to sleep depending on the time of day.
About an hour later they return, Coco says, hey we didn't let the kids out, Joe's not going to be impressed, he sure isn't!. Coco gets us out and finds us a comfy chair, I see H unpacking bintangs, H give me one of those, no! don't put them away in the fridge, aahhhhhhhhh I'm dying for one. No don't go to bed.............................. more to come.