Reports are coming in of riots in several cities accross Australia. They seem to be centred on the shower products isle and predominantly caused by women of all ages although there were a few men described as neat and thityish.
Several bottles burst in a Melbourne supermarket causing a coconut slick of considerable dimensions. A couple of women are thought to have slipped over and been trampled in the rush. It was only Luck that no serious injuries were reported because no security men could be found. Apparently they were all in the office watching the CCTV tape of what they described as the "shower gel wrestling". It is rumoured that copies of this tape can be bought on the internet for $39.50 (buy 2 get one free).
The Ambulance officers were at first concerned that the substance had hallucinagenic properties when a certain Adelaide lady was found sniffing one of her trolley full of bottles of "Coconut Rush" in the car park chanting "Ah Bali. Bali. Bali"
In Perth stocks are running low and in fact at Dog Swamp Coles have entirly run out. Police are currently trying to quell a demonstration outside the store but find it very hard to detain any of the women because they are too slippery.
Stay tuned for further updates. Signing off on the front line for BTF news.